I don't need motivation to get up in the morning. I actually love the quiet time when the house is still. I'm listening to Maximum Focus from Advanced Brain Technologies and can focus and be at peace.
However, when I need my kids to be up and out the door to school, work or to plant flower baskets, I have a few tools at hand. One is I have all the money in this crowd! If anyone wants something, they know the quickest way to get it, is to follow through with assigned chores, be kind to each other and pull their own weight! The peer pressure gets intense as one slacker will hear about it from the sibs who are taking up their aforementioned slack! they also know if they give me stress, I dig my feet in and start saying 'No!' to everything.
Mom, will you take me to a party at Kayla's house?" "Are your jobs done? Is your room clean? Is your clean laundry put away? Have you watered the baskets?" If the answer to any of these questions is 'No' I ask, "Then why are you asking me when you are not ready to go yet?"
It teaches them to follow through before asking and that what they contribute is critical to the household and I appreciate their efforts. I am also not going to be the one who takes up their slack in normal situations! So access to money and freedom are directly tied to contribution of their time and efforts.
This is especially true of school. School is their job. I expect them to go, behave, learn something and have fun doing it! Danica will set her cell phone alarm and jump up and get ready for school! She has learned she gets almost everything she asks for, because she has a great attitude about school, makes a good effort and follows through on assignments and attendence. And for the most part does this at home, too. Mostly...
Adam (pictured above at a party), on the other hand will think of every excuse some days, of why he should stay home. he doesn't feel good, the outfit he 'needs' to wear is dirty, his shoes are at his friend's house, he needs a shower, his teachers are mean, his classes are boring and here's a good one, he really wants some bonding time with the mom! Sheesh! This kid takes a bit more effort on my part.
I used to cajole and bribe and try to convince him and excuse his tardies. One day I got tired of the emotional stress and told him if he didn't get up and get moving the next day for school, I would NOT excuse his tardy, in fact I would not excuse his tardies any more. He was to plan and be on time or take the consequenses. The next day he tested me and dragged his feet and expected me to give him a ride so he wouldn't be late, but when he came out of a leisurely shower, I was already out the door! He grabbed his longboard after callling me and getting no answer.
He was late. He got an unexcused tardy and a couple more after that and ended up having to take attendence school after school and on a Saturday, which cost him money! he was a bit sullen, but it took personal experience and natural consequences for him to learn to get out the door on his own.
We don't do our kids any favors doing everything for them. As the mother of older children I can tell you they don't grow out of it until life/Mom makes them!
Speaking of older children, when my older sons were younger I did all kinds of things to get them out the door!
Jason loved to sleep in and had a heckuva time getting up in the mornings. I'd lay his clothes out, make him shower at night, send him to bed at 8:30 with a book and all kinds of things. I even hung a poster on his door that said, "Some days I wake up Grumpy and some days I let Him sleep in!"
I used to make these wholesome pumpkin, chocolate chip cookies with applesauce and whole wheat and let Jason have them for breakfast. Then it occured to me his teach might ask the class what they had for breakfast and if he said cookies, she would think Oreos/bad mother, so I told him he could have them after school if he popped out of bed and got going on time. That worked too. It's called Bribery!
Younger moms are always IM-ing emailing and calling me to find out what I did in any given circumstance. I share, we laugh, they feel better about not being alone and that someone else gets what they are going through! Thanks for this chance to think about my kids and being their mom in the morning! Oops I hear a grandbaby calling me!
Ciao, Roxy
However, when I need my kids to be up and out the door to school, work or to plant flower baskets, I have a few tools at hand. One is I have all the money in this crowd! If anyone wants something, they know the quickest way to get it, is to follow through with assigned chores, be kind to each other and pull their own weight! The peer pressure gets intense as one slacker will hear about it from the sibs who are taking up their aforementioned slack! they also know if they give me stress, I dig my feet in and start saying 'No!' to everything.
Mom, will you take me to a party at Kayla's house?" "Are your jobs done? Is your room clean? Is your clean laundry put away? Have you watered the baskets?" If the answer to any of these questions is 'No' I ask, "Then why are you asking me when you are not ready to go yet?"
It teaches them to follow through before asking and that what they contribute is critical to the household and I appreciate their efforts. I am also not going to be the one who takes up their slack in normal situations! So access to money and freedom are directly tied to contribution of their time and efforts.
This is especially true of school. School is their job. I expect them to go, behave, learn something and have fun doing it! Danica will set her cell phone alarm and jump up and get ready for school! She has learned she gets almost everything she asks for, because she has a great attitude about school, makes a good effort and follows through on assignments and attendence. And for the most part does this at home, too. Mostly...
Adam (pictured above at a party), on the other hand will think of every excuse some days, of why he should stay home. he doesn't feel good, the outfit he 'needs' to wear is dirty, his shoes are at his friend's house, he needs a shower, his teachers are mean, his classes are boring and here's a good one, he really wants some bonding time with the mom! Sheesh! This kid takes a bit more effort on my part.
I used to cajole and bribe and try to convince him and excuse his tardies. One day I got tired of the emotional stress and told him if he didn't get up and get moving the next day for school, I would NOT excuse his tardy, in fact I would not excuse his tardies any more. He was to plan and be on time or take the consequenses. The next day he tested me and dragged his feet and expected me to give him a ride so he wouldn't be late, but when he came out of a leisurely shower, I was already out the door! He grabbed his longboard after callling me and getting no answer.
He was late. He got an unexcused tardy and a couple more after that and ended up having to take attendence school after school and on a Saturday, which cost him money! he was a bit sullen, but it took personal experience and natural consequences for him to learn to get out the door on his own.
We don't do our kids any favors doing everything for them. As the mother of older children I can tell you they don't grow out of it until life/Mom makes them!
Speaking of older children, when my older sons were younger I did all kinds of things to get them out the door!
Jason loved to sleep in and had a heckuva time getting up in the mornings. I'd lay his clothes out, make him shower at night, send him to bed at 8:30 with a book and all kinds of things. I even hung a poster on his door that said, "Some days I wake up Grumpy and some days I let Him sleep in!"
I used to make these wholesome pumpkin, chocolate chip cookies with applesauce and whole wheat and let Jason have them for breakfast. Then it occured to me his teach might ask the class what they had for breakfast and if he said cookies, she would think Oreos/bad mother, so I told him he could have them after school if he popped out of bed and got going on time. That worked too. It's called Bribery!
Younger moms are always IM-ing emailing and calling me to find out what I did in any given circumstance. I share, we laugh, they feel better about not being alone and that someone else gets what they are going through! Thanks for this chance to think about my kids and being their mom in the morning! Oops I hear a grandbaby calling me!
Ciao, Roxy
